Eraserhead
Friday, May 11 : 4:32 AM : 0 comments :
The most romantic movie to all time I've decided? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I tend to dwell in the past a lot. I've always been a pack rat; saving pictures, scraps of paper, writing down details of an evening, everything. I tend to save, or attempt to remember, as many seemingly insignificant things as possible.I've still got this little origami box dating all the way back to kindergarten; I'm hoping to return it to my best friend from back then. I saw her at her/our prom (over ten years ago) and I thought of that box. Shame I didn't have it on me. Would've cleared some mental and physical desk space.
Anyway, in the movie, Jim Carrey has to collect every item from his life that reminds him of Kate Winslet. The purpose of this is to create a memory map of where she's traveled within his life (and thus his mind). Of course, he collects his trinkets to ultimately forget her; I collect mine to remember everyone. That's the way it is with mementos isn't it? We collect to remember others but really the purpose behind it all is to remind us of our past selves, right?
"Fuhgeddaboudit"I recently asked an ex-girlfriend if she regretted going out with me. That's the question every ex asks, even if silently or briefly. Actually I didn't say "regret," because life is to be lived -- according to self help books and adrenaline pumping commercials -- with no regrets. I asked her if it was "worth it." Was it worth the joy/pain, in way retrospect? They say hindsight is 20-20 right? Her answer was, well, her answer was her answer. My answer to myself? It probably wasn't worth it, because the path less traveled seems so much better now, from my current perspective.
The real question surrounding time travel is not how it could be done (there are quite a few relatively logical theories already) but rather how things would be a/effected. To paraphrase, if you killed the butterfly before it flapped its wings in Africa, would there still be a storm in the Caribbean? The safe science fiction answer is that you can't change the past. Another butterfly would flap their wings and the same storm would occur, life and civilization goes on as ordained. But in comic book land, you can -- and should -- change the present by altering the past. So which is it? Can you or can't you?That's the real reason to live life without regrets isn't it? Because we're not sure what would happen if we selectively erased some memories and kept others. We're afraid of losing parts of ourselves that may hinge on a painful experience from the past. No pain, no gain. I read something the other day about how humans are deluded into thinking that they are really the same person/being throughout their life.
The theory is that we're actually totally different people occupying the same physical body day after day. Which is kind of true if you think about it. Once you eliminate the ideal of linear causality and the desire for rational action from a person, it's a lot easier to deal with them. No more questions of "why'd they do that, you always do this, etc" Then again, that kind of philosophy would make it pretty hard to trust anybody since you'd have no past actions to evaluate and subsequently project into the present.
"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive.
But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind."
Old people talk about the past a lot because it's the "good old days." That makes sense, their remaining days are limited, the good old days are probably literally their good (old) days. Young people tend to only talk about the past when they don't have much to say to each other in the present; and they have too flimsy a hold on their future to really get into any worthwhile discussions concerning ambiguous events far down the line.I've found that people my age who tend to dwell in the past are often seen as not able to "let go" or "move on." Like Al Bundy's four touchdown game. Usually, these glory days equate to college. I have a friend who feels like our college years will, in the end, be the high point of our lives (not the highlight, just the high point). I agree, to an extent. A good college experience is unforgettable and shapes the entire rest of our journeys but how sad that the high point should come so early in our lives? Are there no higher mountain peaks to ascend to? No more streams to be forded? No more rainbows?
So until things get unequivocally better, it's best we hang onto our knick-knacks and photographs and download and reinforce memories with each other. Some day we'll all be eighty and we'll want to talk about the good old days, but we won't really know where to start or where to end so we'll need those momentos. Wouldn't that be great?
"Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss."
