Big Game Hunters
Thursday, July 26 : 5:13 PM : 0 comments :
We've recently begun this new theory. Or rather, just a comparison. We like comparisons.You can define a guy's dating style by assigned them animals. I probably don't need to explain further but I will. For example, we know a friend who has the (girl-)hunting style of a cheetah. Once he sees something he likes, he takes off running; tirelessly chasing (obsessing) until she exhausts herself. Then he catches up to her and suffocates her to death -- or into a relationship -- with a clench to the throat. The suffocation is necessary because the cheetah's jaws aren't strong enough to break the neck of the prey it hunts. That's one style.
Another one is the pack hunter, like a wolf or a killer whale. This guy needs his group to surround and envelope the "kill." Working in concert with a bunch of friends (often unknowingly), this hunter can strike from the blind-side and get dates by exclusively working with teammates.
Then we have the tiger. Designed for camouflage, powerful weapons of destruction, and always works alone. Hum, I wonder who that could be? The possibilities here are endless.
Of course, we also have the flip side. If men are animals -- instinctive dumb ones at that -- then what are females? Vegetation! Beautiful flowering plants if you prefer. Since most women are generally the chasee, it makes total illogical sense to assign them the stationary plant role. But it can get so much more complicated since plants are really predators too.We all know about the cactus girl who's initially hard to get close to but then opens up after exposing her soft underbelly. Or the woman who charms by dazzlingly displaying her wares for all the world to see. Then there's the meantime girl, who can best be assigned the plant value of moss, hanging ivy, or weeds. Often it comes down to not "Why" in these cases but "Why not?"
Comparisons for roses, palm trees, and poppies are easily made for the females I know. And don't even get me started on venus fly traps, pitcher plants, and things of that ilk. "Girls are smart, don't throw yourselves at them!"
While this can't be the most original comparison point of all time, it sure is amusing when applied to your friends. Well, at least it's amusing to me.
Alternately, we had used the plant cycle of life to describe how a certain person patterns their dating life. Some people are evergreens, constantly dating; some are seasonal, blooming only spring or summer. And oh those perennials: live and die by the sword of love but always coming back for more. Some people date so rarely -- seemingly every three thousand years like the mythical udumbara -- or so quickly that it seems like whole relationships blossom and falter in just a few days (a corpse flower relationship).
