Sunday, April 30
this is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper. so it's time to let anachronic go. it's served its purpose and i've decided that since i'm on the precipice of major life change (kidding, sort of), my blog should also change in scope and spirit. i'm also just ready for something new after four years and almost 1,000 posts.i'm kind of out of thoughts, i'm kind of out of ideas, i'm kind of out of things in general. i also feel like i should be concentrating on writing things that might have a tangible end product.
of course i can never stop blogging but i thought that since i want to turn my attentions to documenting the more mundane aspects of my life and indulging myself in myself, i'd stop anachronic and begin anew elsewhere.
so yes, goodbye, anachronic. hello, diorama.
Update: You know I can't quit. www.jonyang.org or www.hyperwest.net.
[ pen name | 10:58 PM | ]
Monday, April 24
"i think of a man, and i take away reason and accountability." i was recently made aware of a phenomenon known in professional relationship circles as "emotional cheating." this is one of those terms that really requires no extra verbiage to describe. everyone who's anyone knows what emotional cheating is. maybe we're not sure exactly where the line is drawn but here to help us out is 32 (of 180) emotional signs that he's cheating. number three is hilarious."your mate's behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. if this happens, pay attention to your instincts. ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. you know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change."read some of the other "signs" of cheating from the site. i didn't realize that a relationship was the equivalent of inviting big brother into your life. oh wait, i did realize that. but c'mon now, we're supposed to go on our gut feelings about when our mates are cheating on us? aren't we past this by now? didn't that seminal tv program "cheaters" show us that it's best to have irrefutable visual proof (and an enthusiastic late night audience) before confrontation and accusation? if couples were to follow up on every hunch they had about their partner cheating on them we'd become a nation of paranoid freaks. oh wait.
studies have shown that 75% of women said that emotional cheating would leave them feeling more betrayed than sexual cheating. their point is pretty much that emotional cheating will inevitably (75%+) lead to actual cheating. nothing sends a woman into histrionics faster than the potential threat and promise of cheating. that's what this study tells me.
as a veteran of the emotional cheating circuit, i'm here to say to those who take the moral emotional high ground, in defense of all emotional cheaters out there: "emotional cheating happens; deal with it." it's impossible to go through a relationship without having some other object/person/thing be the source of your daily joy. maybe it's the emails you exchange with a co-worker, maybe it's your thursday night dinner with the guys, maybe it's march madness, maybe it's your record collection. all of these can be sources of emotional cheating can't they?
if emotional cheating is loosely defined as directing attention and attachment toward something, then anything could potentially be a source of emotional cheating. i'm here to say that our relationship experts are taking things too far. sure, we should be wary of who our partners are talking to and hanging out with but at the end of the day, it's still about trust right? coming up with new categories and finger pointing definitions of cheating just doesn't seem right in these troubled times. cut people some slack. give them a chance to live a little before you break out these newfangled ideas about physical/emotional/spiritual cheating. bottom line, if you doubt them, you probably shouldn't be with them anyway.
as one woman told me, "in my mind, an emotional affair is far more threatening than a sexual one, because to me the emotional part is really the foundation of everything you have. for me, the whole idea of marrying someone would signify that we were best friends, confidants, and the first person we each turned to when something great happens or when things aren't so great. the idea of him turning to someone else would break my heart."
[ pen name | 3:18 AM | ]
i used to make it a rule of thumb to tell prospective girlfriends that i had no intention of wanting, or making, them my new best friend. i already had best friends, who were my girlfriends to lay claim to a title and throne that they may soon choose to abdicate anyway (my relationships average about 1.5 happy months each)? i also made it clear that my emotional well being was in no way invested in them until further notice. i already had particular vessels for my emotions and i wasn't going to forgo those just because it "would be (emotional) cheating if you keep them around." rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a relationship. get in line, take a number, wait your turn.
you can imagine how well these sorts of in-relationship diatribes were received. for those budding don juans out there, telling your girlfriend that they are in no way going to be responsible for your happiness is probably not a good way to start things off. take it from me, relationship king.
[ pen name | 3:15 AM | ]
Friday, April 21
look ma, no hands! well, apparently the cat's out of the bag. the cover's blown, literally. as many of you know, i've been writing a book and now it's ready to be distributed this upcoming fall. what is the book about you ask? well, it's about blogging. tada. the ranks of bloggers turned authors is about to swell by one. as you can see, the cover is now ready for your viewing pleasure, and the book is listed on amazon. with my name on the cover to boot. yes sir, i'm legit.
how did i come by this amazing gig you ask? well, the short story is that my friend lilly is a book agent. due to her persistence, ingenuity, and magician's nature, she somehow acquired a book deal for me from a major publishing house. so last september, i quit my video gaming job, started writing the book, and six months later, i'm about to have a book published. the original plan was to have a 35,000 word book ready by november 2005. instead, the project got expanded so i had until january 2006 to write 50,000+ words. i turned in the manuscript recently and after some edits, i believe my end of the process is over. all i have to do now is wait for the book to be finalized and printed.
i'm still in some disbelief that i will have a book published, so i'm withholding my excitement until i actually have copies in my hand. however, needless to say, i'm very anxious and bursting with fruit flavor. it's been quite an interesting process and i've certainly learned quite a bit about both the publishing and writing worlds. i've kind of kept the book on the low because it feels like a wonderful dream that i don't quite want to test the limits of. you know what i'm saying?
however, many people contacted me today after seeing the book listing on amazon (many thanks for spreading the news amit) so i'd thought that at this juncture, it would be safe to announce my upcoming book to the world. so here it is: i have a book coming out. make room on your bookshelf. start saving money. spread the word. i blog, you blog, we all blog.
a quick f.a.q. about the book:thank you to everyone who contacted me today and thanks to everyone for their support. and of course, thanks to lilly -- my agent, my life. more book related things to come in the near future.
when is it coming out?
i believe it will be distributed in europe first. my publisher is based out of england so the book will be released there in july. the united states (and presumably other countries) will start receiving copies in august, maybe september.
will it be on bookshelves around my area?
from what i understand, yes. thankfully, my publisher has lots of renown and will be stocking the book in places like borders and barnes & noble. if not, i'm sure the book will be available in second-hand bookstores shortly after its release. just kidding. i hope.
i will probably not be doing any readings in your local bookstore. i'm pretty sure books like these don't get public readings. however, i will come to your house to stage dramatic reenactments from the book for you, free of charge. i am also available for birthday parties, weddings, the occassional bar mitzvah, and lonely saturday nights.
who is your publisher?
the publisher is rough guides, who are popular for their travel books but are expanding into culture and other areas. i've read many of their books and they are all written amazingly well and highly recommended. plus all of their books come in really neat sizes that are easy to walk around with. rough guides is a part of the penguin publishing group.
did you get paid? will you get paid?
the short answer is yes. despite being a (lucky son of a gun) first time author, i got a princely sum to do something i likely would have done for free. the money i received was an advance on royalties. which means that i get a percentage of each book sold. if i sell millions of copies, we are all going on vacation together. clear your calendars.
i am not sure what the "best" way to get this book would be. i'll have to find out exactly how all this works; if pre-ordering on amazon is better, or getting it some other way is better. if you care about this kind of thing, i'll find out later and get you the info.
is that you on the cover?
the final cover image was not my first choice. pink and eskimos aren't exactly my cup of tea. however, the eskimo sure did beat the pants off of some of the other choices. suffice to say, men in speedos, bullhorns, and penguins were offered as other suggestions. as much as i would have liked to pick my own cover, there were marketing issues at hand. and really, who can't resist an eye-catching book with pink and an eskimo on the cover? plus, it's a book with my name on it. who cares what it looks like?
the only thing i can complain about now is that everyone will think that it is i on the cover, since the eskimo is asian and i am asian. we do not all look alike. oh well. there are probably worse fates.
what are you going to do now?
i am currently unemployed (or self-employed if you ask the irs) and working on finagling my way into becoming a freelance writer or some other writerly occupation. maybe another book is in the works? who knows. soon i will be doing the rounds in support of the book, with the first stage of that being my new companion blog to the upcoming book (the book blog is still in beta).
is there a fan club that i can join?
the actual position of fan club president, and more importantly, treasurer, is still up for grabs. send a sase to me for an autographed 8x10. or you know, look for me on an upcoming cover of tiger beat or big bopper.oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
oh, oh, oh, oh
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
the right stuff
[ pen name | 12:47 AM | ]
