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i know that i'm carrying on, nevermind if i'm showing off
Saturday, August 30 1:25 PM : : i feel sorry for all the folks who labor, who look upon this weekend as a chance to escape with the nationally recognized holiday known as labor day. i also envy the fact that this upcoming day of no labor can mean so much to people. because the term "three day weekend" is so foreign to me right now. many people are here this weekend on their extended weekend. we are doing lots of nothing. we are showing the working folk what they miss about labor-less life. we are doing a good job of showing them too, because we are much practiced in the art of unemployment. do you feel sorry for me or jealous? bit of both i'd assume. "everyone says, 'you don't do the show anymore, what do you do?' i'll tell you what i do." "nothing." "doing nothing, however, is not as easy as it looks, you have to be careful. the idea of doing anything can easily lead to something that would stop me from doing nothing, and that would force me to drop everything." -jerry seinfeld, comedian- Thursday, August 28 3:53 PM : : "a big basis of friendship is commonality and today the different sexes have more in common as they go through the life cycle, which becomes a catalyst and incentive to cross-sex friendships." "the benefits of platonic friendship are multifold, if a bit different for each sex. male friendships tend to be founded on companionship; men typically define their best friend as someone with whom they can do things. women usually count a close friend as someone with whom they can talk and share feelings." i do this for my culture. hey look, time magazine says it's okay to have platonic friends. they have solved the ever twisted riddle of "can guys and girls be friends?" they've done it by bringing us examples of some guy/girl friendships that have lasted the test of time and have stayed platonic. whew. what a sense of relief. now i can be at peace with my inner motivations and shady ass self. we need to make an updated harry met sally by the way. i don't even have a catchy title in mind but the movie needs to be updated for the times, you know? so time says that one out of ten people aged twenty five to thirty four have an opposite sex best friend. wow. only one out of ten? i thought that the figure would be much higher. what does this say about our society? what does this say about me? the soon to be twenty five year old? am i only one of ten? are my peers part of that one in ten or are they a part of that nine? i need to know these things. i will be conducting a totally informal, yet essential, survey in order to find the answers to these questions my damn self. using the scientific method, i will begin with a hypothesis: "my friends are above the national average for opposite sex best friends." some people are saving the world, curing aids, curing cancer, feeding folk, i'm gonna poll my friends. even napolean and einstein started small. this platonic friends thing touches into an area that is of great concern with me. what happens to your opposite sex friends when they get married? do things have to change? can things remain the same? so far all indications have led me to believe that yes, opposite sex friends change after they get married. not alot maybe, but there is change. i'm against this of course but since i'm not married i can't put my theories into practice. and if i put my theories into practice i might not stay married for too long. catch twenty two. stay true to yourself and kick your own ass. but apparently these time researchers have proven me wrong. thank goodness. i was waiting for a national publication to explore this issue and finally shed some light on the issue. and now that i am armed with statistics and an article i can carry on my torch and continue to scream to the world: "girls and guys can be friends! platonomy rocks!" hum, potentially a t-shirt idea in there somewhere. here's something else of interest. "if a friendship is going to become romantic, studies show it usually does so in the beginning, the longer the friendship lasts, the more likely each person is to see the other as a friend." (one study, however, suggests that at around the two-year mark, platonic friends often reconsider their romantic options.) friends reconsider their romantic interest in friends at the two year mark? wow. what does that mean? how did they figure out the two year number? it reminds me of a friend from college who declared that two years of no sex makes you a born again virgin. how he came to two years as his number i have no idea. but i believe him, don't you? Tuesday, August 26 11:06 PM : : could it be? friends this ugly? original here. a friend drawing an analogy between complaining and baking a souffle: sometimes, in the making/baking, it falls flat so craftmanship is key. not too much whining, not too much indifference....just a dash of pathos, and of course, the timings gotta be perfect. paraphrased advice from gaga: you should never talk shit about somebody's ex because if they get back together again, you're screwed. Monday, August 25 11:38 PM : : here's looking at you kid. when you meet people, you're always consciously or unconsciously trying to impart a vibe. some people are better at it than others, some people are easy to read and to figure out. some people bring it much more subtley. but it's a game we all play. with first impressions. trying to present ourselves as professional, nice, welcoming, bitchy, whatever, in different situations. i feel like it's a very conscious thing. or at least, after you've had some social experiences under your belt, it can be "figured out" and recognized. for some people it's about presenting themselves in the best manner possible. glorifying the positive, hiding the negative. or maybe it's not that deep, because it's only a first impression after all. i see people wanting to come off as cool, accomplished, insightful, wise, smarmy, smart, funny, clowny, drunkard, partier, deep, crazy, shocking or any number of things. some people want to come off as reserved whereas some people want to show how open they are and how comfortable they are with themselves. it's also interesting to note what certain people try to vibe out. especially with friends that you already know. to study them in interactions with strangers or friends, to see how they present themselves. how open or closed they are, the tone of voice they use, the body language. i've decided, after some thought and deliberation (not much as usual), that the impression i try to give off is that i'm open to anything someone might say to me. that i won't judge them or be taken aback by anything that comes out of their mouth. if they say something, i want them to be comfortable continuing their thought or their story without feeling like i'm evaluating them right then and there. i try to save the evaluations for later and for behind the back gossipy shit. no i'm lying. well no, actually i'm not. but hey. honesty right? this can at times lead to being too agree-able. i had someone ask me recently if i "pull my punches" and say what people want to hear. if i withhold the negative and present the positive, the affirmative head nod or the verbal "i feel you, uh hum uh hum." i of course didn't think so. but i can see how it might come off that way. i can even see some truth in her observation. would that make me a suck up? god forbid. but no, i am not a suck up. i think as the innately nice guy that i am (save the laughter for the stand up routine people) i couch some of my negative comments in positive and supportive language. and i feel like i'm being positive because i actually am positive with what i say, but what if i'm just witholding the real negative things back? some people say what they want to say, what they have to say, right at the moment. i know i'm not like that. but i would like to believe that i'm not withholding anything either. if asked i attempt to reply honestly. never in a mean or menacing way, but if it's negative, so be it. i also measure the impact of my words, and try to gauge whether or not i can be more directly negative or positive, depending on how well i know a person, or how close i might be to them. and more importantly, gauging how they might react and how to best approach something that may come across as negative. everyone puts on a show, it's a matter of how grand of a scale that show is produced on. many times the show is subconscious and unconscious but i believe that as we grow into ourselves, our motivations, our interactions, our goals in these interactions, become more straight forwardly clear. and it's interesting, amusing even, to think about that and to observe how people try to come off, and then to compare that to what they think they're giving vibing off. Sunday, August 24 4:03 AM : : speak of talking. you talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts; and when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime. and in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. for thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly. there are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone. the silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and they would escape. and there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand. and there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words. in the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence. when you meet your friend on the roadside or in the market place, let the sprit in you move your lips and direct your tongue. let the voice within your voice speak to the ear of his ear; for his soul will keep the truth of our heart as the taste of the wine is remember, when the colour is forgotten and the vessel is no more. -kahlil gibran, the prophet- Thursday, August 21 4:33 PM : : i like you as a friend aka kill me now please. there's a difference, between a friendship started from "liking" versus one started from "just friends." a friendship started from liking is one in which one party or the other likes the other one. hopefully for the sake of emotional happiness and joy to the world, it's both people liking each other. but as savvy cynical people rooted firmly in reality, we know that's not often the case. a friendship starting from "just friends" is pretty much everything else. the differences can be subtle and there can often be many gray areas but i think for most guy/girl friendships there can be a classification into either of these two categories. an example of a just friend friendship might be a friendship struck up while in the midst of a common activitiy, such as studying, working, playing etc. but a friendship started from liking has an ulterior motive. a like friendship is fundamentally based on one person trying to get to know the other while wanting to get with them. be it relationship or otherwise. i don't think i need to define "get." now, this kind of friendship can be somewhat less "pure." i put pure in quotes because i don't want it to seem like a bad thing that friendships aren't pure. friendships start for millions of reasons, i'm just highlighting two general ones that i see. a like friendship is fueled by the innate desire to get to know someone to date them. this can lead to all sorts of situations and levels of depth and whatever. but we'll avoid that. the main question here is, which one is more real as a friendship? actually you can't really answer that because a real friendship is a real friendship regardless of the motivation behind it. or is it? if a friendship starts because one person wants something from the other, is it a truly pure friendship? if i were to be only friends with you to get at your nice car and to get rides from you, is that a pure friendship? a friendship can start because we started sharing car rides but if it's based upon one person getting car rides then i might suspect an unpure friendship. so in this manner, is a "like friendship" a real friendship? i realize of course that like friendships can transition into real friendships and that often happens, but is it somehow tainted if the like never goes away? then what you're dealing with is not a friend but someone who is always trying to get with you. there can be friends that you're attracted to and might possibly pursue under the right conditions, but to have an active liking, does that interfere with the creation of a real friendship? Wednesday, August 20 7:02 PM : : it's like a friendship and a business partnership and we have to always be conscious of the difference between'em; because y'know some things can happen that'll ruin one or the other so we always we always stay conscious of those things those obstacles that can y'know, trip us up because we ain't trying to go out like that -gangstarr, bi vs friendship- Tuesday, August 19 10:21 PM : : blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Monday, August 18 10:51 PM : : i wanted to do video editing awhile back. that was once my career aspiration. jon permutation three point one as it were. i wanted to do music videos, commercials, films, whatever. at some point i decided that wasn't for me. for one i wasn't trained in it enough to be anything but a grunt for a long time. and although now i realize a grunt is the way it works when you're young and inexperienced (generally speaking), i wasn't ready to committ to something that i wasn't sure i would love. i love video editing but only when i get to create the whole thing. i can sit in a lab without moving for days on end when caught up in front of an editing station but when it comes to a job, or maybe to editing something that i don't really like, i couldn't see myself wanting to edit it and giving everything the same amount of energy that i would have if something were purely mine. and so, video editing was out. the new career was in. what new career you ask? fuck if i knew. but i did know that it wasn't going to be video editing. the editing on this madlib video is ridiculous. this is the type of stuff that i would have wanted to do. the style, the graphics, the artist, the everything. i love it. and so that means you should love it too. Sunday, August 17 3:51 PM : :  grande
irish cream latte. i'm reading this
book about starbucks, how it came to be, what its vision is, what
its trying to accomplish. and one of the things that the ceo talks
about is the creation of starbucks as a "third
place." the third place is an idea put forth by a certain mister
ray oldenburg and he uses the term to describe an "informal public
gathering place, the idea being that our first place is our home,
our second is work, and our third is a community hangout where conversation,
relaxation, and social engagement thrive, and expectations are left
at the door." what a great idea this third place. i was wondering what the first two places might be before i looked it all up. in my peculiar ingenuity i figured the first place was the home but in my peculiar stupidity i thought that the second place might be eateries and restaurants. and so i thought that the third place would be defined as someplace casual and inviting and open to social interaction without the pressure of "doing something" or constantly buying. that's what i figured a third place was. apparently i was a little bit off. but no matter, i can adjust to this new definition. actually no. i feel very powerful. i just drank milk. so let's boldy go ahead and redefine the term. a "place" should be somewhere that you can hang out. the second place should not be work. nobody wants to go hang out at work. and if work is "hanging out" then i want your job. people at work are not hanging out. "places" are spots for people to go and hang out. nobody says "let's go to my office and we'll kick it there." doesn't happen. so for now the first place is home, the second place is a restaurant (or similar place where an activity is expected and a certain time constraint placed upon said activity), and the third place is somewhere you could go to hang out and conceivably remain forever. so say coffee shops, cafes, boba joints, bars, et cetera. all these "places" must be conducive to conversation too. so clubs and karaoke and to a certain extent, pool halls, are out. so moving right along. one of the major problems i had with new york was that i didn't feel like i had enough third places. not that there weren't alot of third places in new york but i don't really like bars and one can only drink so much boba or coffee. i like getting boba/coffee/jamba juice and then moving along elsewhere to hang out. preferably outside. new york, or should i specify manhattan, doesn't always give you that luxury. and with small living spaces and expensive restaurants, manhattan was lacking in chill out areas, especially during the winter. my favorite third places usually ended up being a bookstore or mcdonalds (sundaes and fruit parfaits are not only delicious but admirably affordable). but bookstores aren't really a third place and mdonalds is technically a restaurant so thus categorized as a second place. the dilemma then, where to hang out -- on the cheap and for a long time -- in manhattan? here in san diego, i feel like i have lots of third places. there's the beach, there's the parking lot, there's the car, there's parks, there's swing sets, there's the beach. and of course, there is the greatest of all third places, fumari's. but that may be just a personal bias. don't smoke kids, it's bad for you. only you can prevent lung cancer. actually maybe it's just the types of third places that i enjoy better out here. if i liked bars i would probably really love new york. but i don't. and so i won't. i had a point here somewhere. a tangent into ann arbor and finding little private third places and all this other stuff. and what a late night diner might be categorized as. but it's all pretty boring. then again if you've read this far you're probably already pretty bored. i hate when people do that. never ever do that. we'e read this far. okay. we're either really bored or very smitten. no more okay? whoop whoop, beep beep, we've read this far shakespeare, get over it. anyway, ranting aside. here is what i have decided. ubiquity is not evil. evil is evil. Saturday, August 16 8:10 PM : :  evolution.
gene
had twiggs concert
numero dos yesterday. the first one was tight. this one was better,
tighter, mightier. he's gone from the intimacy of sitting on a chair
and drawing everyone in to standing up and performing from his feet
up. the little shuffles, the little taps, the little dance of gene
and music was happening. and gene's game was up on a whole nother
level. his new songs, inspired by a week long "artist's retreat" with
ameer
in LA, were focused and effective. the guitar skills were on prominent
display and also gamed up a notch. his singing has been elevated,
his stage presence has been elevated, the entire spectrum of game
has been elevated. people were moved. and moved were people. a few
technical difficulties arose as gene tried to incorporate his new
toy into the set. his new toy is a loop machine that can record shit
on the fly and then play back with well timed bare footed taps. this
enaables gene to loop himself and then play another guitar part over
that recorded loop. the terms "one man army" and "solo duet" have
never been more appropriate.from a few months ago watching gene do an open mike at hot monkey love (his second public performance ever), to now, holding the rapt attention of an audience of fifty, i've personally witnessed the fledging baby steps of an artist being borne and created. gene was shaky and nervous back then, still uncomfortable with the stage and his place upon it. but now gene is a veteran of open mikes, a veteran of the stage, and his increased confidence is reflective of that. there is still a long path to walk from veteran to star but it's amazing to see it all unfold through the lenses of friends and the artist himself. the crazy thing about seeing a performance is that one often doesn't think of the invisible work behind the scenes. the time put into preparing for an hour long set. the weeks spent perfecting one litte riff or one simple melody. by the time we see someone on stage they are already at point C, and we can't quite fathom what points A and B looked like. but if you've seen the practices, seen the mistakes, seen the growth, it's one smooth transition from A to C. every artist who puts something out to the public has been through the thought process of "what does this look/sound like, what does it mean, what do i want it to mean." every action and reaction is orchestrated with careful planning and expectancy. it may not work out like the master plan, but there is always a master plan. this is why i like watching the practices, hearing about the ideas, watching the process of artistry. it's also fun to document everything for future reference and insight. if you just see the final product there is a tendency to be wowed. if you just see a singular final dance performance, you miss the little moments of "ah ha!" and revelation, when things just suddenly come together. some prefer not to see this process of course, preferring to serve witness to only the final polished product. but i enjoy watching the whole thing from beginning to end. it does sometimes take away from the surprise and newness of everything but as i've learned, things will surprise you. that's why they call it a surprise. people who know what they want will always up their game, no matter how many times you've seen them. "that makes me know that, (what) we're doin, we had the right idea in the beginning and we just need to maintain our focus and elevate. we, what we do, we update our formulas. we have certain formulas but we update'em. the rhyme style is elevated, the style of beats is elevated, but it's still guru and premier. and it's always a message involved." -gangstarr, you know my steez- Thursday, August 14 8:16 PM : :  blackout.
it's so weird to be outside of a situation. last time new york shutdown
i was clearly in the situation. this time with the electricity out
from midwest to east it felt so different. i had no television either
so i didn't know what today's event looked like. all i knew was that
people from new york were calling me to get updates on what was happening
in their city. and all that i could tell them was what i read on cnn.
which pretty much amounted to "no this is not a terrorist attack.
and the whole thing just seemed so far away. maybe because a power
outtage isn't an outright tragedy but still. how can something effecting
all the people i know from michigan to new york seem so entirely distant?
it must suck so hard to be in new york right now. manhattan without
electricity must be the craziest place. hello the stand. hello dead
zone. people are gonna be sweating honey bunches of oats if the electricty
doesn't kick in soon. it's kind of exciting i guess to be faced with
candles and flashlights, a little bit of an adventure. it makes you
wonder though, what the hell else can go wrong with the world?this is unrelated to the blackout. but this is important. clubs are dead. i don't understand how people are rolling through clubs past the age of twenty three. where's the excitement? maybe it's just san diego. maybe it's just the asian scene in san diego. but once you gather a lot of casually yet nattily attired san diego folk together it just kills the atmosphere. people are dressed super trendy, not even really super ghetto or hooched out but just dressing to impress. people are hanging out watching other not with them people, some hot sweaty bodies are grooving, some people are sipping drinks or smoking a cigarette. it all gets so old. unless you miss the dancing i guess, then it's worth it to venture out into the nightclub scene. otherwise it's the same type of people looking to do the same type of things, over and over again. ugh. everytime your name was brought up i would act all nonchalant infront of an audience...i'm trying to learn how to sing falsetto, are you scared yet? Wednesday, August 13 6:37 PM : : why don't you suck a fart out of my asshole you slave driving fascist! -the doors- Tuesday, August 12 3:12 AM : :  om.
to close your eyes and meditate. i always wondered what that might
feel like. when i close my eyes, i sleep. so pretty much every time
i've been exposed to meditation, i've fallen asleep. in my defense,
i haven't attempted meditation all that much. maybe once or twice.
my friend tried to get me to meditate over the phone but it's a little
difficult to try to meditate while being guided electronically. but
meditation really intrigues me. it's supposed to take your brain to
a relaxed state, a focused state. i wonder where my brain is at normally
and i feel like by meditating, like really meditating, i'll experience
a mind state that i've never consciously been at before.of course there are times when i feel extremely focused yet very relaxed and aware. do you ever get those times, when you start to look at a blank wall, and then everything suddenly kind of zooms out? and you feel like everything is so far physically away from you and that you are in a "zone"? that to me is comparable to meditation. but it's not an induced feeling, it just happens. what i want to know is, is what meditation does, how it works and what it can do for me. i'm not trying it for the health benefits or for just wanting to try something i don't understand. i want to "do it" because it seems right. many of the eastern religions/philosophies that i read about talk about utlizing some form of meditation. and not that i want to be some clear minded guru, but i want to be able to take fifteen minutes out of my day to just relax and really charge up. not that i really need the relaxation but i think meditative relaxation is different than just chilling out. or so i would assume. then again, meditation is supposed to reduce stress, increase focus and bring about harmony. but the thing is i naturally don't really stress much but i do need to focus, so maybe my efforts should be less concentrated on finding yet another way to relax. but if anyone has any experience with meditating, i want to hear them. now. Sunday, August 10 9:28 PM : :  you
og’d and you od addicted. addiction sounds like such a terrible
thing doesn't it? addicted to something is being dependent on something.
it means habitually or compulsively occupied with or involved in something.
addicted to music, addicted to cars, addicted to snowboarding, these
are all "good" addictions. addicted to alchohol, addicted to chemicals,
addicted to ice cream, addicted to drugs, these are "bad" addictions.
so the question is, "am i addicted to cigarettes?" being addicted
to cigarettes would probably be categorized as a "bad" addiction i'm
guessing.of course, i don't think i'm addicted to cigarettes. i don't think i'm addicted to anything. i only smoke after huge meals, after basketball, when i drink, late at night conversating, or sometimes after waking up. hum. my whole life consists of eating, basketball, late nights and waking up. how many cigarettes a day are we talking about here? two a day maybe, sometimes four a day? that's not addiction is it? a pack a week? i feel like i can stop whenever i want. i can stop right now if i wanted to. but i have no real incentive to really stop. my health is okay (short term). the complaints about the smell i can handle. the cost benefit ratio of plus cigarettes versus minus cigarettes is workable in my budget. i've heard that girls don't like cigarettes but really, what's that to me at this point? so as you can see, no solid incentive to stop smoking. i really thought playing basketball everyday would get me to quit smoking. i mean, i was heezing and wheezing for awhile there. but now i've settled back into my physical prime and i can run and smoke as long as i want to with no ill affect on my play. alternately, perhaps my play is just so weak now that the effects of smoking on my endurance is no longer noticeable. but i'd rather not think about it that way. i can still run like a handsome crippled deer. i've been smoking for four years now. that's not a super long time. but it's not short either. why not buy cartons some people ask? because cartons mean i'm addicted. and the sight of a whole carton of cigarettes is a little intimidating. there is some serious long range planning involved in buying a carton of cigarettes. that's two months of life right there. so i don't buy cartons but is that just avoiding the issue? addiction isn't as blatant as "i gotta have it right now or i'll hit something." sometimes it can be much subtler. never stopping because of lack of incentive, thus allowing something to remain in your life for an eternity. doing a little bit here, a little bit there adds up. i'm no crack whore looking for the next hit but am i the guy who says "just one drink?" the smart thing to do is obviously go cold turkey. that's the exclamation way of declaring that i am not addicted. the other way is to cut nicotine intake down to an absolute minimum, like two a week. or only smoking right after a really spicy meal. special occassions as it were. but i don't think i'm addicted. i enjoy the comfort of cigarettes, which has grown out of four years of using cigarette time as "thinking time." but that could be replaced by anything. but i enjoy the five minutes that i get alone with a cigarette. to sit on the curb, to make a quick phone call, to just stare up at the sky. i could substitute something healthier i suppose, but for now, why bother? then again maybe it's time to just stop for awhile. not to see if i can, but just because why not? it's gotta be easier to stop smoking than to go full out veggie again. saying that i've been consecutively smoking for five straight years kind of scares me. i don't want to be a five year smoker. the thing to do obviously is to go back and figure out what month i actually started smoking regularly. and then make a plan to quit right before that month so i can not be a five year smoker. very rational and practical isn't it? the power of logic and a clear mind overwhelms me. if cigarettes were deemed healthy and could add three months to your life, would you do it? even though it smelled like shit and made everybody not want to talk to or kiss you? if cigarettes were like an life enhancing vitamin, would all the taboos against smoking go away? Saturday, August 9 11:24 AM : :  my
happiness. life is so great right now, i have all the money
i'll never need, it's nice to know that my great to the Nth power
kids will be taken care of. who knew that you could trademark a letter?
from now on everytime you use "t" or "s", one penny drops into my
bank. note i did not say "bank account." i said bank. as in, my bank.
yeah, with the proceeds from my teleportation device i've set up a
bank. a bank of jon. life is good.and my romantic life? excellent. two babes and a hottie. or was that two hotties and a babe? so confusing. anyway yeah, i've given up on monogomy, it's outdated. polygamy, that's way in. but more on that later. and my kids, so beautiful. the strapping perfect images of me that i never was. amazing what one can do once you cull the "rejects." there's always a runt in every litter, luckily we got rid of that one and kept the cute ones. so now we just say we had sextets and not septuplets. and i never even have to see my kids ever! they are so well behaved that they raise themselves! it's crazy. add water and they turn out perfect, everytime. we're thinking of having another set of five so we can field a football team because this yang family baskeball dominance is just getting a bit staid. uncle yao said the other day that he was sick of looking up at our kids, it may be time to try other sports. did i mention the kids never poop? we have no animals though. we have a computer, that's plenty enough interaction for the kids. so you must ask, what is it that you do everyday jon? i mean like, what's your occupation? i answer confidently that i love my job and that it affords me all the financial, emotional, intellectual, creative stimulation that i ever wanted from a job. here, take a card. "jon yang. blogmeister." yeah, it was kinda tough to get the correct spelling of blogmeister down but i think i figured it out. um, you like the business cards printed on hundreds eh? it's a fully functioning hundred dollar bill too. please, take it, i have millions. all this and i'm only going on twenty five. quarter life crisis. please. my only crisis is whether to wear the new white tshirt or the old white tshirt. costco does make so many fine white tees. did i mention i can lift over twelve hundred pounds? with one hand no less. hooked on phonics worked for me. i also smell good. like real good. fragrant even. and me and my friends, we do so much. we're never bored, we're never stagnant. and everyone just loves each other. i feel so lucky to have the perfect group of friends. and i use "perfect" not as an ideal but rather as in the dictionary defined "lacking nothing essential to the whole" way. it's like i've met all the cool people in the world and they all come over to sleepover and hang out. did i mention i started my own religion? yeah, it's true. i talked to god and he said "listen son, here's what's really good. i don't care what you guys think, just do whatever you gotta do, it's all the same in the end anyway." and based upon that enlightening experience, i've started the "church of um." we believe nothing. all we are allowed to do is go "um." as in "um, that tastes good. um, that is cool. um, i'm hungry. um, don't ask me, how the fuck should i know?" it's great, you should join us. but we can't do anything in unison because that would be annoying and closeminded. be different ya'll. be polygamous or be what you wanna be, if you work hard at it, you'll be where you want to be. as long as it works for you, it works for us. and we never talk about love as the great answer because love is overrated and over marketed. instead we just talk about food. because food is always always underrated. no gatherings are conducted without lots of food. we're not just a religion, we're a philosophy slash food court. and we've discovered that eating jujubees grants you immortality. no lie, it's 100% true. but only if you eat the red ones. avoid the green ones, those lead to premature death. and all the other colors just rot your teeth and make you ugly. and friends don't let friends be ugly. i'm so happy right now i could die. Friday, August 8 3:52 AM : : because all the other quizzes are no fun. fifty questions. and because all the other quizzes are not made by me. do i have lots of time or what? email me your responses if you want to. if not screw you and the high horse you rode in on. and why don't you trust me? just kidding, i would never screw you. or trust me. i meant you. i would never trust you. just so you know, babbs' answer to the bonus bonus question was: one that's more than you're comfortable with. babbs said he said it in jest. but we don't believe him do we? Thursday, August 7 10:37 PM : :  holla
at your boy. it's astounding how much we pick up from hanging
around people. words, skills, admiration, talent, knowledge. i feel
like people have so much to teach me. not just mushy crappy life lessons
but more concrete knowledge. like in how something works. breaking
down an industry or sharing a perspective. giving me some scant insight
into a field that i have no clue about. all the guys i hang out with,
i learn so much from them. how to change the oil, how to till the
soil, how to fix something or other. how to best set up a fish tank.
how to cover up a wood floor that's been slightly damaged by fire.
what's the difference between enthalpy and entropy. what's a dickfor.
how to best light a match when faced with heavy wind. what's the best
way to take care of such and such a task. just lots of general knowledge
stuff that you don't personally know. or at least that i don't personally
know.i asked a guy friend once what the function of a guy friend was, what a friend is, what he hopes to be able to provide to his friends. and part of the answer was that he hoped that his talents, skills, knowledge could be accessed and shared with his people. that his base of powe and his personal interests would prove useful and interesting to the folk around him. and that if someone needed something within his realm of expertise, that he would be called upon. and of course we go to all our friends for these types of things. and i don't want to exclude girls here because they are valuable too. but perhaps in different ways. some of them you go to for more emotional issues, or they have expertise in more "girly" things. i really hesitate to break it all down like that but let's not lie, girls know more about girl things, guys know more about guy things. there are exceptions of course. but don't roast me over the misogynistic campfire when i say that i feel like my boys just provide me with a disproportionate number of useful/useless yet absolutely essential knowledge. all people are vaults but i feel that i am blessed in particular with a group of people around me (girls and guys) who just know shit. they know lots of shit. and it's nice to be engaged in learning from friends and watching them teach you. or to teach them about what you might know. it's also hilarious to bag on people and make fun of them when they suck at something. but that's loving isn't it? i feel like guys take to teaching well because most of the time you can be very straightforward with them and say "you suck, fix that, fix this, good." some girls i feel don't take the whole straightforwardness as well because they need some encouragement to get the gears going. eric talked a bit about really enjoying being a "coach" at times and it's really good for both ends i think, the coach and the students. you can never learn enough and learning from your friends is just the icing on the cake. Wednesday, August 6 11:41 PM : : full lyrics to the jewish song mentioned a bit ago. courtesy of amit. wherever you go, there's always someone jewish you're never alone 'cause god made you a jew and when you're not home and you're somewhere kinda newish odds are, don't look far, there's jews just like you disneyland, amsterdam, telaviv although they're miles apa-a-art when we light the candles on the sabbath day, we share in the prayer in each one of our hearts. Tuesday, August 5 11:28 PM : :  007
373 5963. mike tyson will rock your world in one punch, this
is true. you have to avoid his flurry of uppercuts and don't bother
counterpunching until the third round. if he catches you with an uppercut,
you're done. king hippo is tricky if you don't hit him in the mouth
first. ninja gaiden seems like a hard game. flutes are key for transporting
to different levels, as learned in zelda and mario (watch
this). there are more secret things in super mario three than
i ever knew about, and apparently hong knows them all. gradius might be the hardest game ever, even with the super konami code. i used to beat contra in three lives, and that is now my goal for the week. my life aspirations are high. me and george once beat the original super mario brothers using only one life. nobody believes us. i could never do it now so i guess it's our word against yours. there is nothing more manly than screaming in desperation and surprise at bubbles and bobbles. hong got a nintendo and a famicon last week and since i've been back it's been nintendo madness. so many "oh i remember this games!" we are working to beat metroid and ikari warriors. plus achieve other assorted lofty goals. beating tyson is impossible, i just want to see the end of super punch out dammit. Monday, August 4 8:12 AM : :  till
death do us part. so went to katy's wedding this weekend.
in new york. or more accurately new jersey. this marks the second
to last wedding in my record year of weddings. had alot of feelings
and nostalgia tied into this wedding, but none to share, so just some
thoughts. i think i want my wedding to be totally non-traditional.
as in no suits and ties, no ceremony in a church, no priest or any
other religious figure. i kind of like the idea of having a friend
preside over the vows. i wouldn't want a huge banquet, maybe something
more of a pool party. i want my best men lineup to include women,
so that it'll be just the best of. i don't want to be the center of
attention but more just part of the attention. i'm not sure i'm down
with much of the traditional weddings things. i feel like this might
be a slight issue because -- making a broad generalization here --
most women want a semi-traditional wedding. with long pretty dresses,
nice silverware and properly attired guests. it may be hard to convince
a girl to spend the most special day of her life in a swimming suit
and flip flops. it may be hard to convince a girl to allow for female
and male best ofs. it may be hard to convince a girl to spend the
most special day of her life with me period, much less with all this
other crap. i feel like although i am against the institution of marriage,
i must devote some thoughts to the actual ceremony part of it. because
that's what people my age talk about sometimes, and i might as well
have some ideas packed away just in case. after all a boy scout is
always prepared.the rest of the new york was very chill. unlike most new york trips. i had alot of time to just sit around and bum. didn't go out, didn't move much, only used the subway once. didn't get to see some people i wanted to see, but that happens on a short trip. did get to have lots of conversation with people, which was nice. sometimes when you roll in big groups all the time, real conversation is at a minimum. i really like new york nights during the summer. when everywhere is still warm, everything is still open and everybody is finally off the streets. that's the best time for new york right there. wandering streets and walks with coffee, cigarettes and conversation. or just plain sitting. the days in new york summers are freaking hot though. humidity is not a game. thinking about non-traditional wedding ideas kinda is though. Sunday, August 3 3:34 PM : :  metrosexual.
"the suddenly ubiquitous term for the stylish, urban, hetero male
who has no fear of salons, it's been applied to george clooney and
soccer star david beckham." as quoted in time magazine and as first
introduced to me this weekend by brian. apparently this is the newest
catch phrase for those in the know, to define the type of man who
is in touch with grooming and style but yet still retaining a masculine
edge. an article here
explains it much better."men of all sexualities are taking a greater interest in their appearance. they go to hairdressers rather than barbers; avoid using soap because it's too harsh on their skin; visit the gym instead of playing sport and even have difficulty deciding what to wear. they're occupying their time differently - not only spending more of it in front of the mirror, but also at boutiques, in bars rather than pubs, enjoying a dance at a nightclub and going to beauty salons." this pretty much puts to rest for me the question of why structure became express for men. i'm not sure if i love or hate this term. i suppose it's a good term and creates an instant image but i bet it'll become used so widely and by so many people that it's about to get real annoying. and didn't we already have a term for this? pretty boy right? Saturday, August 2 8:56 PM : :  fear
of flying. i used to grip the seats of the airplane when
taking off and landing. i used to freak out when turbulence hit. my
stomach would wrench and beads of sweat would bead my brow. what a
terrible way to die, falling to earth, plummeting towards the ground
with two hundred of your closest strangers tucked two inches away
from you. the only way i could combat this fear was to crank up my
music and hope for the best. i also tried to not breathe, in case
that made a difference. i think that if an airplane crash were to
happen to me, i would screw the dubious regulations, turn on my cell
phone and call someone to tell them that i was falling. and that i
couldn't get up. and then they would be confused, i would laugh, and
then the phone would cut off. or i would just scream and scream, hoping
that my message got across. maybe i should set up a one touch dial
person specifically for this purpose. but what number to assign to
"the person in case of emergency?"anyways, i'm happy to report that my fears have been replaced by nonchalance. and by this fact that i used to post in our bathroom at west quad: more people die annually from riding donkeys than from riding airplanes. very reassuring fact isn't it? but then it was pointed out to me that it was probably a statistic based on percentages. and we know how statistics can lie. and how percentages can lie. like for example if one percent of donkey passengers die but only zero point five percent of airplane passengers die then it's "safer" to ride a donkey. but donkeys don't go very fast. so you have to ride an airplane. one could avoid death from donkeys and airplanes but then how are you gonna get anywhere right? and all the publicity about airplanes crashing don't help my mental state either. when was the last time you heard about a tragic donkey accident, details at ten? doesn't happen. donkeys and their passengers die alone and unpublicized. airplanes and their passengers get magazine covers and tv time. then i tried to reason things out for myself by thinking about how every time i take to the streets in my car, the chances of me getting into a debilitating accident were far greater than any chance of a fiery airplane death. but that didn't help. it just make we wary of other drivers and how vulnerable i was the craziness and bad driving. but i have conquered my fear of flying with a very simple method. i let it all go. the statistics, the random chaos, the safety measures, the music used to drown out turbulence, whatever. i let it all go. when the plane lurches and dives, i try to keep reading. when rain, thunder and lighting threaten i go "ah, lightning only strikes once." sometimes i try to listen to my sixth sense in an attempt to get that "i should not be on that flight feeling" but it hasn't happened yet. i've also decided that flying is worth more to me than not flying. not flying would mean no traveling, no seeing far away friends, no nothing. so in exchange for a bit of mental discomfort, i'm willing to fly. plus, airplanes amaze me. i try to think about how amazing it is that we are flying in a huge metal object loaded up with pre-heated meals and soft drinks, instead of thinking about how insane it all might seem to ducks and other winged animals. with a combination of rationale and totally just giving up on caring about an icarean death, i've been able to do away with the clutching and the sweating. and now i can breathe again. with the amount of time i spend in airplanes i've decided that the best thing for me to do is just to stay up as late as i can the night before to enable instant pass out upon boarding the plane. anyway. my point is. mind over matter. it does work. fear is only cowardice. conquer your fears and you conquer cowards.
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