I have this reoccurring dream. It happens to me all the time. I don’t really understand what’s going on until afterwards. Each time this dream happens, the surroundings may change, or more precisely the people in my dream are different. Yet for some reason I make them the same, I start to look for the same tendencies, and try to recreate the same feelings. There are three of us in this dream, myself and two other people. Sometimes, the dream starts off with only two people, but I make the third appear. It wouldn’t be a dream without the third. Its a very pleasant dream, and also very sad. Whenever I dream, I hate the person I am. I want to be the other person. But strangely enough, I rotate around which character I become. Do I hate them all? This aspect of my life I see myself to be evil, where I want to hurt others, but more than anything I want to be able to sleep without dreaming.

[ esca | 9:05 AM | ]

 

I was just about to hop onto the 15 after work last night, when I decided to stop by Borders. I figured that it had been a while since I’ve had a chance to just roam and there happened to be a few things that I was looking for. I picked the 2002 edition of Baseball Prospectus, which is so far just an excellent source of baseball articles, I recommend it to anyone from the casual fan, to the fantasy ball player. Just not to all the baseball haters out there. It really peeves me when I tell people I like baseball, and they got out of their way to say how boring they think it is. As if I care. Its your loss. Why do people feel the need to justify why they don’t like something? I also picked up a DVD copy of Interview With The Vampire. First time I’ve ever seen it completely through, and it was great, I’d have to rate this movie up there right next to Zoolander. ^_^ It was actually showing a couple times over the weekend on the Superstation, but I never got to see the whole thing. I realized that the feeling I got watching this immensely heavy and macabre film was the same feeling I got watching Blade II. (Woah, I’m really dropping the movie titles in this blog) For the first time, I think can relate a little to the Gothic crowd. Just a little. There’s definitely some darkness in all of us, and some embrace it, some relish it, some use it to their advantage, and some are saddened by it. But we almost all try to conceal and hide it, from others, and especially from ourselves.

Delusion, the movie is about delusion.

[ esca | 12:26 PM | ]

 

Well, its done now, just paperwork and forms to get taken care of. I just purchased my own condo as of 11 pm last sunday. Am I excited? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. Can I watch the sunset over the hills everyday? Hell f---ing yeah. Conclusion: A delightfully mixed spectrum of emotions, with a touch of pretension

[ esca | 12:25 PM | ]

 

A few nights ago, I went to go eat at Balboa Tofu House with a few people whose names will be omitted to protect the innocent. Incidentally, while I was there, I got a little overzealous in telling my server to make my soup extra spicy. I was in definite pain that night, as well as the following day in the john, if you know what I mean. However, afterwards, we went to hang out a Green Tea House when we starting on the topic of dating and onto dating philosophies. Namely, the prospect of cheating.

Is it ok cheat? Are there some larger moral questions involved? Does cheating imply that you are a bad person, or that you are merely a person in high demand? According to my friends, they view cheating as a whole with a redefinition of dating. Cheating can be thought of merely as dating non-exclusively multiple people, although you still wouldn’t want them to find out about each other.

Furthermore that one is compelled or rather forced to cheat if there is any inherent uncertainty of the current relationship one is in. This applies to flings, short term relationships, any relationship less than a few years running.

Another way is look at it would be, that exclusive dating is reserved for true love and true love only. Still, anything which is not definite as true love, then could very possibly be less than true love. Anything less than true love, can only impede your eventual pathway towards true love. These tenets are all supported by the gotta look out for Number 1 philosophy.

Failure to explore the possibilities of cheating is also termed as “sticking with the bird in hand as opposed to the two in the bush.”



Wow…I’m at a loss…
Does everyone think this way?

[ esca | 3:34 PM | ]