Random thought: I love the sound of biting into a fresh apple. Almost as enjoyable as the taste, especially that crisp snap of your teeth plunging through the skin.

Blog topic, but no less random: Curiosity…common trait in everyone, but how much is unhealthy? At what point does simple curiosity become prying and gossiping?

Was chilling with some people last night, ended up at a diner as part of an unfortunately aborted attempted to hit up a place downtown due to timing and a strangely thick fog. Yes I’m being intentionally vague. An interesting conversation piece came up which I didn’t quite catch all of the details, but it involved a fairly scandalous tilt, the kind that perks the interests of strangers with no particular involvement. Namely me.

At that point, it was a very intense internal struggle of mine, to keep from asking inappropriate questions like, who? What? Gimme the messy details!!! When in likelihood I have no idea who the people involved are, and it doesn’t really bode as my business to know.

Why is it though, that certain types of information attracts people’s attention? Gossip. Things like this spread like wildfire, the worst part of being entangled in a messy situation is finding out that a lot of people have scrutinized and judged your very actions before you’ve even had have time to think about it.

Yes still, while everyone hates the gossiper, nobody wanders too far from the grapevine, waiting for those juicy tidbits to fall their way. Curious…

[ esca | 11:52 AM | ]

 

Wow...

You know you've made it big, and I mean big when you've become the featured destination of Jon’s hyperwest portal. Be still my beating heart…
^______^


Hehe, I’m saving this one for posterity, read it below or at Hyperwest.



[featured destination]
escadawg. escadawg. fly with us to the suburban swamps of san diego and meet victor. he of the one man condo. the do it all x-box. the nice non-ikea furniture. the big bag of cooking salt. the nice balcony with a dazzling view of.....other condos. intelligent interior decoration for the mind has never looked so good. tackling life after college is hard. and don't we all know it. but only by sharing can we achieve caring, as the blogger creedo clearly states. so unpack your bags. put your feet up. say hi to victor, you know you want to.

[ esca | 10:18 AM | ]

 

Tian tian shui xing dou xiang ni.
Mei ge dong xi yao gei ni
Shen me shi qing bao zhi ni
Mei ge ke ye gen zhi ni
Ying wei xian zai wo ai ni.

[ esca | 12:31 PM | ]

 

Its been quite a hectic week for me to say the least, just so many things happening in my life right now that I have barely a second of my own free private time. That free veg time you get, where you sit on your couch or sprawl out on the floor and let the waves of fatigue and stress emanate throughout your body. You think about a cig, but then you realized that you’ve already quit. You think about calling someone, but the phone doesn’t pick up. You think about writing some angry invective, but that’s already trite.

I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore, but I feel almost liberated. One foot in front of the other, skip hop jump? Spin dash, flip turn, trip fall crash…

Anyone feel like doing something crazy this weekend?

[ esca | 8:39 AM | ]

 

Side Rant:
I know you are skinny, stop fucking putting down every single girl that weighs more than you. You surround yourself with people you dislike but require their company because you wish to exist gloriously relative to them. How strange that it is you are willing to sacrifice your “friends” for that little bit of solitude to curb the pain when you take that real close look in that mirror. To that looming and ravenous beast of judgment, you so callously feed your retainers. Here is your crown, O Queen of the damned! Like a vampire you constantly bleed life from those around you, all while carrying some false pretenses of entitlement. Your pretty face must shroud the vision of your actions and dampen the hideous decadence that you revel in. When your little pond shrivels from your obese appetite, will you finally take a look at your fading reflection in the light of the baking sun?

[ esca | 6:05 PM | ]

 

Most people in this world are scared shitless to be alone. They wouldn’t even know how to exist as a personality. By alone, I mean with nobody else around to act as a reflecting board for their traits. How sad it would be, to put the value of one’s self entirely in the determination of those who happen to be around you. Break free.

To define one’s existing traits and qualities, as merely offshoots of others. To claim to know faith and love merely by surrounding oneself with people that do, but have no honest conception of what it means. To claim to understand purity by making it exclusionary against those who are not. Does it scare you that I demand a deeper understanding of what you are beginning to doubt? Put yourself on a blank piece a paper, no relatives, no comparisons, just who you are and what you are. Are you afraid of being judged?

[ esca | 5:54 PM | ]

 

On the eve of tragedy...has it really been one year?

Someone asked me if I would want to see in person where everything happened. To be in the physical place where many had suffered perhaps the greatest suffering possible in our society today, to know so acutely of one's own mortality before one's passing. How much terror and uncertainty must have agonized those minds...did they find peace before it happened? Or did they cling to hope and cling to the final shread of denial as their world came crumbling down?

For even the egotistical and narcissistic should acknowledge their own mortality, and acknowledge that life's cup is bittersweet, ambrosia and hemlock together. Hold my hand and I would go anywhere with fear understood, and see everything that is our world.

It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of
feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this
to heart. ... The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the
heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

[ esca | 9:52 AM | ]

 

It rained today, first time all summer.

It made me nostalgic for school for some reason, with its all its puddles and dampness and wetness.
*sigh*

[ esca | 11:54 PM | ]