Be Still My Beating Heart

Ah...my new love. In color:

[ esca | 9:14 PM | ]

 

330ci 330ci 330ci 330ci

^___________^

[ esca | 12:10 AM | ]

 

Who says engineers don't have a sense of humor

Our head software lead for our entire project, is a warm motherly type Indian woman. Very nice, very soft spoken, but also, has a very interesting way of naming projects or labs.

For example,

PTI (pronounced pity) Pre Thread Integration
TOIL - Test OFP Integration Lab

So as casual outsider, you might hear something like this while washing your hands in the bathroom.

I'm a little behind on my PTI schedule, can I add Johnson to the PTI team? Is he qualified to take on PTI? Some people can't handle PTI very well. He's very responsible, he lives to TOIL, I don't know anyone more deserving of PTI. Give him some PTI, and he'll make you proud.

[ esca | 10:41 AM | ]

 

Random Thoughts

Most romantic comedies, if you stop to think about it, have earned the denomination chick flick. But why? Well, because the female lead is almost always somewhat flawed or awkward, while the male lead is usually more perfect. It's the pairing of the cinderella with prince charming. Its the story of the imperfect girl, paired with the perfect guy. Because the guy will somehow, by the end of the movie, have a nice enough heart to see through all her problems and flaws and find her true beauty inside.

Yeah, right.

And if he somehow fails to come to his senses, he's shallow anyways...

Everybody wants the perfect companion. Or imagine that somehow, the rigors of life have earned them a place on the good person sheet. That for some mystical reason, the perfect person is looking for the imperfect mate, aka you. Or maybe, the almost perfect person with a really simple flaw that they somehow can't figure out by themselves. Truthfully speaking, there is no reason anyone can't be paired up with the perfect person, but not in spite of your flaws, but because of your good qualities. You want to bring as much to the table that the other person does.

The only romantic comedies that I can think of where its the imperfect guy getting the dream girl, are the slap stick Adam Sandler type. Sure, mix in actors like Tom Hanks, or Matthew Broderick, and you can get a more balanced pairing, but at best I would say you can expect an imperfect guy to end up with is an imperfect girl. The understated theme though, is that neither is truly imperfect, but simply misunderstood. That's why one of the all time great romantic comedies is the Cutting Edge. You have dumb boorish jock paired with rich bitch ice queen. Of course, the jock is classier than he appears, and the bitch is just cold as a defense mechanism, but that's why the movie is great. You have two heretofore unwanted pieces, but stick them together they are the apple of each other's eyes.

There maybe a lot of reasons for this. I think its much harder for guys to admit to mistakes or to imperfection. I actually believe that's why Adam Sandler is so strangely popular. I think a lot of guys can truly identify with him, but because he uses so much idiotic humor, at the same time there is that safe "distance." Its the, "although I can relate to Adam Sandler, I clearly am not him but a much better variant, so I can laugh at our shared idiocy without feeling stupid myself." I remember him winning some random award, and his acceptance speech drew a lot of widespread cheer. It went something along the lines of, "Hey I'm Adam Sandler, I'm not that good looking, I'm not that smart, hell, I'm not even that funny. But I'm a millionaire, and you guys love it!"

I mean, guys want to watch something like Braveheart, or Gladiator, and feel like some grunting warrior. Yet how many Americans really sacrifice anything for the pursuit of even simple things? The era of Jimmy Stewart has long gone by.

In anycase, I'm digressing. Movies, media, books even, are highly sensationalized. Even blogs to a degree. Even a show like the real world is sensationalized. Sure, your circle of friend may contain one of two those highly colorful personalities, but that's the crème de la crème of colorful insignificance. I find those that are interested in these outlets, are highly creative and imaginative people, which is both a boon and burden in real life. Boon because the sweet seems sweeter, and burden because the sour is all the more sour. You're constantly trying to take a fairy tale or story and make it real life, instead of the other way around, taking what your life is and making it into your fairy tale dream.

[ esca | 9:44 AM | ]

 

Sticking needle in body is good for you. As is vegetable and fruit!

So Monday night I went to see a Chinese doctor and he performed acupuncture on me. Or acupunctured me, or whatever the correct terminology is. As a highly recommended procedure from various people, mostly parental types plus one goofy roommate, I figured at the very least, it should improve my probably damaged chi. Although I'd say I'm probably 99% recovered from my car accident, there's still some lingering tightness or soreness and I figure it doesn't hurt to cover the bases.

The whole thing was pretty interesting, as he stuck needles in my upper back along the lats, my lower back, and also in the back of my knee. It didn't really hurt, although the sensation can be described as overall uncomfortable. Like a pinched nerve. The needles that he stuck in my knee especially, felt as if the entire area was somehow irritated or tensed.

The next thing the doctor did, was wire me up to an electric current, I'm assuming similar to the electrical simulation devices used for physical rehabilitation. This caused the muscles around the acupuncture needles to periodically contract. Now that was weird. Supposedly, it can be relaxing, and some patients fall asleep. I remember lying on my stomach, feeling this weird sensation of being pricked by sharp objects while my body was rhythmically contracting by itself, and thinking that the time could not possibly pass any slower.

All the while, the skeptic inside of me, kept repeatedly asking in my cavernous mind, what am I doing here? This smells like bull leftovers.

I'm supposed to go back for another treatment, from which the doctor's line is, sometimes it takes a while for the full benefits of acupuncture to really appear. That's why its important to keep going on with the treatments. I've tried using similar lines with girls before, so out of some mangled form of self-pity I'm going to go back.

After all, the first treatment had a very high novelty factor attached to it. I mean, even if you don't have any health problems whatsoever, I recommend that you fork over 50 bucks and go down to your local chinese doctor if nothing more than just for the classic confucius-like comments and the electrical current treatment. So I guess I'm going to reserve judgment till the second time around.

[ esca | 9:11 AM | ]

 

In my book, a good song, a well liked song, is one that you can read the lyrics of and then hear the music in your head...

[ esca | 2:42 PM | ]

 

The End of an Era

I think when I was younger, I was very stubborn against change. It wasn't necessarily something I took very well. Part of it was that I felt it took me a longer time than most to get adjusted and comfortable in a setting. It takes me a while to get used to people, and likewise to takes me a while to get "unused" to them, as in after they are gone.

People, are like ideas to me, they need to be mulled over and thought through.

So Kien Vuu's time in San Diego is over, well at least for a year. He's going to be researching some big time medicine in DC for the NIH, where his peers are all ivy leaguers, and not just your run of the mill sort, but the highly elite upper echelons that study medicine. Strongest combination of ability, dedication, and overall results. The first time I met this guy, I didn't like him. Or rather, I watched him closely with one eyebrow raised in a disapproving manner. Who was this guy that seemed to ooze cockiness from every single pore of his body as well as encroach on what I considered to be my territory and space? But once I realized that you shouldn't take him seriously, or at least overly seriously, the overall sense of humor shined through.

So on our last night out, a few of us went over to Decos, a new club in downtown. As Jess succinctly put it, it had a very Art Deco appeal to it. As I'm currently on a self-imposed dry spell, I became well acquainted with their 4.50 bottles of water, of which they served Evian in the outdoor rooms, and a welsh import Ty Nant at the restaurant lounge bar. Speaking of which, I've been completely sober for almost an entire month now. Aren't you proud of me? I figure I want to keep it going for only another month or so, as that will be sufficient reflection time for myself. Which also coincides with my upcoming trip to nyc, as I will be partying hardy with my boy Kai and on his birthday, the 18 of August. If anyone will be in town over those days, you're welcome to come chill. Anyways, we got to the club relatively early, I'm thinking around 10ish, and left when it closed, around 1:30ish. It felt like I was there for 5 hrs. Not drinking makes everything seem to go by so so slowly. However, I guess it gave me more time to concentrate of my dancing, as the highlight of my night came after a random girl told me that I danced like I was from SF. The exchange went as follows

"Are you from San Diego?" her
"Uh...yeah." me
"Oh ok, I was going to ask if you were from SF."
"Oh no, I'm from San Diego."
"Because I'm from SF, you're a really good dancer. I enjoy watching you dance. You dance like you’re from SF."
"I've never been to SF, I'm from San Diego."
“Ok well, keep it up.”

So she walked away probably thinking that although I was a good dancer, I am strangely obsessed with San Diego. 'Cuz San Diego rocks, hell ya hell ya.

[ esca | 8:37 AM | ]

 

Wow...what a coincidence, the soul calibur 2 release date is 8/27/03, which happens to be my birthday. ^___^

[ esca | 12:18 PM | ]

 

The unimaginable has happened...Karl Malone, my long time favorite basketball player has signed with the freaking lakers. I've never liked the lakers, well not dislike, but their cocky arrogant attitude always gets to me. I'll admit there is a certain degree of playa hating involved, but the bottom line is now I have mixed feelings. I've liked the Mailman since middle school, when he starred on my fantasy roster, and have followed the Jazz ever since. He's playing for the 1.5 mil minimum, down from the 18 he got last year. Wow.

[ esca | 12:16 PM | ]

 

Is balance all we truly seeking? Would your perfect match actually be the person that zeros you out, as opposed to one who mirrors you? Sure you want the same things, but what's the pragmatic approach? Will two career minded ppl really work out to have enough time for each other? For instance, what truly matches the hectic work schedule of a Dr., or med student dr trainee? Another Dr.? Or how about just a homemaker? Straight faced and no disrespect intended. It's like building a team, do you want two point guards? Or how about a big man and a point guard?

Maybe I've been spending too much time looking for another me, when I really ought to find someone that isn't me but matches me. Because I definitely don't need another me, come to think of it. One Victor is enough.

[ esca | 12:53 PM | ]

 

Its a funny thing how the heart works. Or the mind, for in reality the heart is nothing more than a symbolic entity, or a complex muscle that supplies the rest of your body with blood. The heart, is really just the mind, and thus despite the difficulty we may have in understanding our "heart" rationally, it still operates with in rules that confine the human mind. Human beings are balanced by dual sides, one of intuition and one of reason, one of emotion and one of ration. Think and feel this and you will be complete.

Why do people burn with unrequited love? Because of the feeling we have, that our love is somehow incomplete, somehow flawed. And if we only let our feelings increase it will someone complete itself. Because people in this world still believe in the ideal love, the fairy tale love, the love that conquers all and scales grand mountains. Because I can make you love me if I just love you more and more...

[ esca | 9:00 AM | ]

 

I think Michelle Wie is pretty cute...

Does that make me a pedophile?

[ esca | 6:11 PM | ]