Flows like water

I've finally figured out what's been driving me to watch the last samaurai with an almost obsessive madness...i.e. watching it three times in the theater already. My mom gave me as a christmas gift, this lush photo book with stills and a storyline for the movie. Its the history. Japanese history is a largely romanticized, glorious passage. The art of seppuku, the act of disembowel oneself, is romaticized. Even death is pretty for the japanese.

I'm getting to my point...in a roundabout way. The old adage remarks that history is written by the victors. I've liked that one because it so curiously includes my name. That the winners are the ones who mark the history. Actually, its just the writers. The meek shall inherit the earth, but its the creative spinmasters with the tongue for the dramatic that future generations will read and learn from. Funny.

[ esca | 6:32 PM | ]

 

Emotional Turmoil.

Like a roller coaster. You're scared, you're at the edge of your seat and every hair your body is tense and awake. Going up that first big hill and hearing that clicky-click as you get pulled higher. Then that freeze frame right above the park and you can see everything in that just briefest of moments and boom...

You can see everything.

[ esca | 1:06 PM | ]

 

What is the difference between something that's flawed and something that's wrong? In my book, something which is flawed, is innate to the system. You can't really change something thatis flawed, kinda have to deal with it. Something wrong on the otherhand, would be something that could be right.

So I guess, with something that's wrong, you could try to remedy it, make it right. Or make it right the next time. But you have to just accept flaws.

[ esca | 8:36 AM | ]

 

While talking with Trieu last night, he noted that with relationships, in the beginning its the guy doing all the work to try to get the girl. And after he gets her, its her doing all the work to keep him. Is that true? Is that fair? Would that be why a girl has to periodically let the guy know she's leaving so he’ll have to win her again?

[ esca | 8:30 AM | ]

 

what is the measure of a person's life? Is it accomplishments? Is it passions? Is it happiness?

[ esca | 7:34 PM | ]

 

Age ain't nothing but a number

So I was at the movies watching Last Samurai with my parents, and being the good son that I was I told my parents to wait while I went and bought the tickets. When I went up to the counter, I said proudly, "Three tickets for the 4:00 showing of Last Samurai please!"

To which the fair damsel at the counter replied, "Can I see your id?"

I replied blankly "Huh?" While thinking to myself, could she be trying to check me out or something? I am faboo faboo looking and all, but I've never been picked up before at the ticket counter before. Oh well, there must be a first time for everything.

To which she replied, "Well, you need to be 17 to watch a rated R movie..."

I showed her my ID and then she smiled and blushed. I'm 23. I'll just mark it down in my book however, that she wanted to know my name. Because I'm faboo faboo.

[ esca | 5:08 PM | ]

 

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

So thanksgiving was great. Gobs of fun. Like an extra helping of potatoes.

Here's the play by play...

So wed nite, I head over to the airport with Vu to pick up Sandy, who was at one point my best friend in san diego. She was my only friend at that time, so I guess that might not be saying much, but I do have fond memories of her. Our parents were pretty close so I remember vaguely spending a lot of time with their family in my formative years, including vegas trips, julian trips, and what not. It was the four of us, myself, my brother Andrew, Sandy and Kathy that hung out every weekend. But then she left for taiwan and a decade passed or so.

Out of the most amazing coincidences she knew a friend of mine from work, so the connection was reestablished. After looping around the airport four or five times, we found her, picked her up and next stopped at fashion valley. Our mutual friend Jocelyn was working her second job at BR to take advantage of the store employee discount. Afterwards we went to bennigans to eat, and Vu and I tried to gauge our Buffalo Wing compatibility. I am a legger and he might be a winger...meaning happy times for all. We then went back to Jocelyn's place and played mario party for longer than necessary and then ended the night.

Thursday morning, I woke up to my mother calling me, telling me that my father would be at my place soon. We were supposed to tee off at 11 with my cousin and cousin-in-law, Scott and Tarro. Scott is like a big brother type to me, he likes to tell embarrassing stories like how he used to wash me when I was young and...(you'd have to hear the rest from him). His parents live in taiwan and he grew up in the States with various relatives including my parents for a while. He used to call me ka-tseng in taiwanese which meanings "butt" but sounds like a very fobby way of saying "cousin." He used to be fobby. He's still kinda fobby, but I know he went through one of those anti-fob periods in high school.

Scott is amazing at golf, he can drive 400+ yards, for what he basically does as a living. He's a sales manager at some shipping company, to which part of his "work" involves wining and dinning clientele, and also taking them out for golf. Talk about a dream job. I can tell he's very good at polite flattery, the kind which isn't too excessive, but leaves you with a warm pleasant feeling inside. It was fun seeing Scott because we're close enough where we can brag to one another, feel a little competitive about it, but also not feel like we're showing off. He got a real kick out of my car. The rest of the day was pretty cool, although the winds were kicking up the ash from the fires and leaving the horizons with a dirty haze.

Afterwards, we went to my parents’ house for dinner, and I saw my brother for the first time since he left for school. It was really good to see him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. He has an earring now, and blonde semi-spikey hair, like Tidus from FFX. He's very slick looking, and his aura seems to emanate "college" now. The dinner was amazing and I ate a great deal of the 20lb turkey that my mom had prepared. Thanksgiving is great for my parents, who get a chance to be sort of the local "patriarch" and "matriarch" of the family. Plus my cousins all have kids and I think kids are great for morale around the holidays. They emanate life and energy.

Friday, my parents and I went to eat with Sandy and my mom couldn't get over how much Sandy's chinese had improved. We went to eat at Shanghai City and Sandy was reminded of different places in san diego she used to know and afterwards we home to look at pictures and relax. We found a really old picture of our families together and its interesting when you see old pictures of yourself. Sandy had a big perm and was at least a whole head taller than me.

On saturday I woke up at the crack of dawn, inspired by the prospect of boarding, but also dismayed to find out that the rest of the supposed crack-of-dawners were still sleeping, namely Jocelyn and Sandy. Eventually they got up and we went to Mt. High to go boarding. Not too many trails were open, but it was fun nonetheless. The highlight of the day was when we went up to Conquest, which was next to a terrain park, and even though it was a major holiday, I think a lot of the boarders were more of the "hardcore enthusiast" types. Which meant, cool tricks! You could see people pull off crazy spins off the jumps. I was inspired from deep within.

While going up the lift, I noticed that a lot of people that would go off the jumps would land on the table top. That's the flat part on top of the jump. To describe the jumps, they look like trapezoids, with two slopes up and a flat part on top. It hurts actually to land on the table top. Ideally for a big jump, you want to land on the slope leading away, so as not to halt your vertical progress all at once. Or you could do a smaller jump and just land on the table top and be fine. The latter is probably safer. There were only two jumps in that park, with the rest being rails, so I figured, I could do a small jump on the first one and then try to clear the table on the second.

So while going down the hill, as I was bearing down to the first jump, another boarder got in my way so I had to veer off. By the time he had gone through, I was already too far down the hill to have enough momentum to make the jump. Slightly annoyed, I moved on to the second jump. This time, I waited patiently for people to clear, and then started down with my approach. In hindsight, I think I got overzealous. I had a good amount of speed leading up to the lip and the good part is I cleared the table top. However, my board had slipped out in front of me, and the best way to describe is I'm looking at "down" at my board, but unfortunately, its parallel to the horizon. For a few seconds I was on cloud nine soaring through the air. Then, I crashed. On the back of my head of all places. I think I was kinda lucky because it was on the slope coming down, so I rolled forward after I landed, which also meant that I hit my head repeatedly each time it came around. I'm sure it was quite a sight for the ppl on the lift to see.

When I finally stopped, another boarder came over to see if I was ok. He was like, "dude I saw that, that was crazy. Are you ok? It looked like your board kicked out in front of you. I was about to jump, but I saw you wipe out like that." I think I was ok. When I caught up with Sandy and Jocelyn, I remember feeling my face and it was extremely warm. I had bruised my face and scraped the side of face above my cheekbone. I ended up going to the ski patrol to get some ice. The girl said she had to "ask me some questions" before giving me an ice pack. Being in the jovial mood that I was, when asked, "do you know where you are?" I replied straight faced, "Vegas." Jocelyn then laughed and I noted that I was kidding and trying to make light of the situation. However, the girl didn't think it was funny and quickly became the ice queen. No pun intended.

We left after that as Jocelyn had to work at BR and I went home to sleep. I recalled vaguely that Mike Vea was in town, but was too tired and just passed out.

Sunday, I woke up and my head was super groggy and my neck was stiff as a rock. Moving my head in any direction hurt a great deal, but I had to get up to go see the Chargers. San Diego...Super Chargers...San Diego...Charrrgggers! First NFL game ever. Evan had planned this out at the beginning of the season when our hopes were high for the one-win chargers. Hey, can't blame optimism. I left my place in RB at about 12ish, thinking it would be alright to get my behind into my seat for the 1:15 kickoff. Or maybe mostly on time. I was making good progress until about 3/4 mi away from Friars rd, and then it was traffic like I would never have imagined.

Yet, strangely, despite all the outward and seemingly chaotic front of cars cutting each other off, plowing through the shoulder, merges and what not, it was a very systematic and organized chaos. Every car seemed to know where it was going and no accidents occurred. Some magical order and compass seemed to present itself to all the cars. And strangely I found it very exhilarating. Normally traffic makes me very stressed, but I was getting excited by the sheer amount of ppl. I think I get excited by "large" crowds, as in the several hundreds, or thousands. I think I would make a good "mob" member, you know, give in easily to the mob mentality. If you ever want to start a riot...give me a call.

I got in at about 1:40 or so, and was somewhat appalled to see a sea of "red" in the stadium. We were playing the chiefs, who had as many losses as we had wins, or namely one. Our seats were pretty good in that we could see a lot of the action, but geez are football tickets expensive. We shelled out about 70 dollars for our tickets are we were still at the highest level, View section. Add in parking fees and beers and hot dogs and nachos, and it turns out to be quite a pretty penny.

As for the game, it was mucho exciting! I hope to go again. Despite the forecasted ownage we were expected to receive, we held our own and almost won the game. And I'll say, that there is nothing quite like the experience when you are cheering for a good play and you can hear/feel the cheer of the stadium echo with you. Its as if some vast energy resonates throughout your very body. From the tips of your eyes, down to the very hairs of your feet.

Afterwards, we headed out to Outback Steakhouse, to which I was able to "escape" rather quickly. By the time I got to the restaurant, about 25-30 minutes later or so, I get a call from Evan saying "dude, I swear we've moved like 5 feet. I can still see our parking spot." I ended up going back to my place to clean up and also make phone calls to plan a gathering of friends. A lot of ppl were in town and I figured it might be worth while to see everyone.

We eventually make it to Outback although by that time, I was starting to feel a little bit queasy from ingesting too many peanuts. While there, one of Evan's stanford friends, Lei, mentioned that he was a big SC buff. He told a story about how he and two other friends took on a challenge 3v4 and beat the other team so badly and rubbed it in their face so badly that the losing foursome came to their dorm room and was ready to challenge them to a fist fight. Hilarious! He also mentioned he was the PGL champ, and their #2 team was PGL #2. Mad props. Let me bow at your feet.

Did I mention we were at a football game? Drinking beer and stuff? Just so you don't think we're too geeky. Haha.

Anyways, afterwards, Evan and I headed back to my place and tons of people showed up. It was like high school again. Names: Jess, Jen, Isabel, Mary, Jon, Vu, Evan, Trieu, Jason, Hector. Same faces, older bodies, deja vu city here we come. Fun fill night of video games, chatting, laughing, roaring, stripping(i wish)...with many of us dreading going to work the next morning. At the end of the night, at about 3 am, when my Ace through Five straight at the river took Trieu's final chips and won me my first pot of 20 smackers, we finally closed it out. Ah such fun.

[ esca | 2:18 PM | ]

 

hmmm, I took this personality test...seems kinda interesting.

check out here if you've got time to spare.

I am....*drum roll please*

TYPE FOUR: THE ROMANTIC

Fours have a strong need to understand themselves and to express that understanding aesthetically. In their drive for self-understanding they may become self-absorbed and self-conscious. Fours frequently feel different from others. Fours unconsciously focus their attention on the finer points of what is missing, so that by comparison, what is available seems to lack appeal. Fours thrive on being important in the lives of other people, especially important people.

Possible Origins. Fours often had a rather solitary, frequently unhappy childhood. They felt abandoned by one or both parents and consequently turned inward for gratification. They grew up feeling alone and carried this aloneness into adulthood.

Flawed Fours. Fearful of being misunderstood or hurt if they express themselves directly, Fours may turn to artistic fields to communicate. If they are unable to express themselves, they become shy, painfully self-conscious and afraid of social interaction. Unhealthy Fours block out desires and expectations-so they will not be hurt when their desires are not fulfilled and their expectations are not met. Fours compete with peers for the respect of grand authority.

Well-Adapted Fours have learned to love others in spite of the fact that they themselves have felt unloved. Of all the types, they are most in touch with their inner feelings. They deceive themselves, and others, less than any other type. And freed of their potentially crippling self-consciousness, creativity can take free rein, often with quite spectacular results. Their sensitivity to the feelings and needs of others and their regard for individuality make them excellent parents, friends, and therapists.

Occupations. The need to express their special nature leads Fours to be poets, musicians, actors, and artists. They are also original in the way they shape their environment as well as in the way they express their feelings. Fours are uncommon among managers, but they may be a manager's secondary type. As managers they can see extraordinary possibilities in a common business situation. They can channel their creative energies into starting up a new, unique organization.

Finding Oneself:Fours will probably agree with most of statements:

1. I have the sense of something missing from life.
2. I try to look casual and natural.
3. I have always had an attraction for symbolism.
4. People don't feel as deeply as I do.
5. I like to do things properly and with class.
6. My environmental surroundings are very important to me.
7. It's easy for me to distinguish between "the best," and "the best known."
8. I don't like to think of myself as being ordinary or having an ordinary problem.
9. I find myself swinging back and forth between highs and lows. Either I'm very up or very down, I don't feel very alive when I'm in the middle.
10. People have accused me of being overly dramatic, but they really don't understand how I feel.

[ esca | 2:34 PM | ]